|A femaleage 30-35,anonymouswrites:|
My friend is always making jokes. He"s rarely ever serious. Just to provide you detail, i am 20 and my boyfriend is a middled aged man who is divorced through 2 children.
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About a month into our relationship, he started making jokes around getting me pregnant for this reason he would have me "trapped". The made that joke a couple of times.One time we were ~ above the phone and also he stated that he think i"m walking to walk to college for awhile and also then i"m going to tell him i don"t really choose it and also that I desire to have a baby instead. He stated he will tell me no, and also when i insist, he"s going come say ok to the idea.We"ve additionally had talks about our kid"s surname if the is a boy or girl.The various other night, he was talking around how children follow the connection patterns of their parents. He then said "that"s crucial to remember currently that you"re pregnant. (We didn"t open minded think i was pregant, but my duration was a couple of days later on than usual).When I called him to tell him that I ultimately got my period, he stated "that"s great baby.. However I just went out and also bought baby clothes". I recognize he was kidding around that, however do you agree the it is still odd because that a guy to say?This guy makes jokes about everything, however do girlfriend think that is hinting the he wants to have actually a baby through me? Or trying to let me know that that wouldn"t psychic if i did get pregant?I"m just curious since I never ever dated a male who talked about this kind of stuff. Ns mean, we have only been with each other for 3 months!Please offer me your insight.Thanks
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A femalereader, chigirl + ♥, writes (7 September 2011):I think it"s a red flag to be honest. What male talks about babies, even jokes about it, and says he"s picked out baby clothes, after just 3 months? and also started the from the very very first month? I don"t know if he"s serious around wanting a kid with you, but if that WAS serious I wish he"d take it it seriously and not joke about it because that one. Second, the truth that is isn"t being open and also honest about it or acquisition the issue seriously, yet hints in ~ it, speak me that is sweet-talking girlfriend to stay with him. Since we all know what young females think about: marriage and also children. The more he appeals to this instincts in you, the an ext sure he have the right to be the you remaining with him. It"s a "lock down" technique, it"s what a man says to, in fact, catch you. So his jokes around trapping you with a pregnant is.. No such a joke together a fact. That is working on trapping you v the idea the pregnancy. The idea of having a boy with him. However, seeing together he is no serious around it, the is i can not qualify he actually desires a boy with you. He wants you come think the he wants a son with you. Watch the end for other approaches to trap you with him, such together being financially dependence on him, or having no friends, not permitted to do certain things or wear details clothes. And also tread cautiously through this one. Also think around what you want in a relationship. Execute you want children? Or has actually he just softened you come the idea by talking around it therefore much? You must make sure any such decision originates from within yourself, and also not indigenous him. Likewise consider: execute you desire HIM to it is in the dad of your children, when he currently has children, and is so much older? If you want youngsters in her life, yet do not view him together a potential father (I wouldn"t), then consider what you are doing in a partnership with him.
Afemale reader, anonymous, to write (7 September 2011):He sounds prefer a jerk to it is in honest. If he"s got 2 kids currently he"s i can not qualify to want any kind of more. Because that God"s benefits don"t get knocked up. Walk off come college and also enjoy yourself, uncover someone closer to her own period with no baggage. Discover someone who means what castle say and says what castle mean.
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A femalereader, CindyCares +, writes (7 September 2011):Humour is often a means to express thoughts which would not be socially or personally acceptable. So yes, his hints may mean he would not mind making girlfriend pregnant . But, look at the context. You have been just dating 3 months, basically you don"t even know every other.He is a center aged man, and you are 20 and leaving because that college. therefore what he is is saying-without-saying-it is not : " ns love girlfriend so dearly that I desire to share v you the most necessary bond ever before -a kid ". What that is tryng come say , or to not say, in fact,is " ns am anxious and insecure, and also I to be afraid the pretty shortly you"ll favor some college warm young stud come an old geezer prefer me, and while i don"t want or have actually the guts to ask or sell actual commitment and also a future oriented relationship, well, if part "accident" happened that would limit your freedom and keep you indefinitely at mine disposal, that would certainly not be bad at all ".